ADDICTED,the movie 🍿
Usually , the first few lines spoken by a client in therapy during the first session reveal a lot. It’s a major door way into the real issue
In ADDICTED,a 2014 movie,Zoe a successful business woman ,wife and mother visited a therapist after months of cheating on her husband who was depicted to be unavailable (most times at home ) especially for her needs few days before the first cheating episode.
Link to the movie trailer
Addicted | Official Movie Trailer (HD) | In Theaters NOW!
She opened up to the therapist (recommended by her friend) by saying there was a particular inner void that has always been with her and this void seems not to be satisfied or filled despite having great children,caring husband ,wonderful home and successful business
At first glance,few minutes into the movie,it occurred to me that the woman was looking for something. She looked lost
She felt Quinton and another random guy she met at a club will really help out in filling this void . She actually thought she needed an adventure but actually,the adventure she thought she needed was to silence the loud noise of the void inside her created by a trauma resulting from sexual abuse or rape she experienced at age 10 by 3 guys . In fact,she repressed or buried the memory of the abuse (probably thinking it might help or to prevent her from visiting a past pain ) .
Her husband’s non-availability for a while aggravated or opened the unresolved “wound”/trauma and hence increased the noise of her internal void
Hence the need to cheat on her husband. The cheating got so bad that it has now affected her daily activities and productivity. At this point ,it better to consider it a sex disorder aka sex addiction
Quinton made her feel wanted ,needed and special
The truth is that women try to have it all…good sex,money ,material things etc. As a man ,you need to figure out all her fantasies one by one systematically by gently listening to her. Her fantasies are her needs . They are real needs to her
A woman’s fantasies are REAL NEEDS to her
If you can’t satisfy them,don’t bother marrying her.
Those fantasies are her weaknesses
Every human being has the right to have fantasies
However,I want you to focus and don’t get distracted . This is because the real problem in this case happens to be the internal void created by childhood trauma and not really the unsatisfied fantasies in bed .
She was truly in love with her husband who happened to be her best friend but due to his unavailability,she thought of using sex with random guys as an escape route from the internal psychological pain or wound or trauma . This clearly confirms two facts:
1. love is not enough in marriage and
2. sex does not have the capacity to deal with past trauma
Apparently,the husband did not dig deeper (during the dating or courtship period)into her past and so did not know she has had a traumatized past . Therefore,both of them will need to take responsibility for the marital challenge that turned into a marital crisis
They were so fortunate to have a good therapist who was able to make a quick diagnosis and recommended couple’s therapy which she and her husband later agreed to when they were so helpless and knew if help was not sought for ,they might end up losing themselves as friends,life partners and parents & also the children they loved dearly
There are different causes of cheating in marriages but if it happens that a spiritual cause is responsible for cheating in a particular marriage ,you have to note that there couldn’t have been a spiritual invasion without the couple being psychologically vulnerable. So we are back to the mind
Trauma damages the mind ,renders the victim helpless and can lead to clinical depression which might end the person’s life through suicide (which almost happened to Zoe in this movie ).
It is also noteworthy that the strong friendship built over time really helped them go through this crisis and it’s aftermath & also gave them a strong reason to fight for their marriage .
In conclusion,the unavailability of the husband was a secondary cause of the cheating while the primary cause was the repressed or buried unresolved silent past sexual abuse . The causes of cheating should not be generalized but each should be examined by a professional to figure out it’s cause .
QUESTION Of the MONTH
Sir,is it possible for your woman to demand for different styles in bed without you thinking or asking if she has been all over the town?
Doctor Michaels ,MBchB (ogun)
Medical doctor with interest in Interventional Talking Therapy
@doctormichaels
+2348141630817
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